My Child Hates Writing: 27 Tips to Help Reluctant Writers

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What do you do when your child hates writing?

The following are 27 effective strategies to help when your student hates writing. Let’s dive in.

1. Don’t Allow Fear to Drive Your Teaching

When your child hates writing, your default response can be fear-based. If we’re honest, our frustration stems because our kids aren’t meeting the academic expectations of others.

I’m no exception and have fallen into this trap way too many times. When it comes to helping your student learn to write, let me encourage you.

Even if your child hates writing, it’s going to be ok. Please don’t push your reluctant writer out of fear. It doesn’t work.

Trying to shove our square pegs into round holes does NOT create round pegs. It creates broken squares. We’ve got to stop fighting against our kids’ wiring and work with it.

So, what should you do when your child hates writing? How do you get that reluctant writer to pick up a pencil? To answer that, let’s talk about the ultimate objective of writing.

2. Focus on the Objective of Writing

When you have a child who hates writing, it’s important to think about the goal of a writing assignment.

• Is the end goal of that writing assignment to see handwritten symbols (letters) on a page?

If the answer is yes, then we’re talking about the physical act of handwriting or penmanship. That’s a worthwhile skill. No doubt. But is penmanship the real goal?

3. Ask, ‘Why does my child hate writing?’

As I’ve mentioned a million times before, when kids resist learning, there‘s a reason. While many adults tend to favor the belief that kids are just lazy, there is often much more to it.

Friend, reluctant writers hate writing for a reason. It’s our job to help them find the reason. Then we can help them fill in the gaps so that they can move forward.

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Creative Writing: The Kiss of Death

As an example, let’s take a peek at the one writing assignment most American kids (and adults) have faced.

Open your writing journals and write about what you did last summer.

Yep. I’m talking about that dreaded creative writing assignment. For some kids, creative writing is the nail in the writing coffin.

• Some kids are not as naturally imaginative and are more literal in their thinking.
• Many students struggle with working memory
  • The ability to hold information in their heads long enough to process it).
• Many children struggle with language processing issues which make articulating and organizing their thoughts difficult.

These kids may stare at that sheet of paper in horror. For support related to creative writing, consider these creative writing tips.

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5. Remove Barriers to Writing

When given tools based on individualized needs, reluctant writers can take their next step in the writing process. The bottom line is that if we want to motivate kids to write, we’ve got to make writing as accessible as possible.

When your child hates writing, you need to remove writing barriers.

6. Give Reluctant Writers a Purpose

I believe that God has created every child with gifts, passions, and purpose. Every. Single. Child. We must instill in our kids a vision for themselves that they cannot yet see.

An effective teacher inspires greatness in their students. We must make writing (communicating) an inherently valuable activity for children who hate writing. And we do this by giving reluctant writers a purpose.

Choose Your Words Carefully

When trying to motivate a child to write, your approach can make all the difference. For the child who hates writing, that may sound like this.

You, my friend, have a valuable message that needs to be communicated to the world.

We may not know what that message is right now, but I know God has a plan to use you to change the world.

7. Stop the Name Calling

Within our culture and the church, we often label children based on outward behavior.

He’s just being lazy. He can hold a pencil just fine.

When children resist learning, calling them lazy doesn’t solve the problem. It certainly doesn’t motivate or encourage. This is especially true when teaching Autistic kids, those with ADHD, and other learning challenges.

Neurodivergent children receive an exponential number of negative messages throughout their daily lives which leads to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

When I’m struggling, the last thing I need is for someone to call me lazy. The messages we send to kids (whether verbalized or not) are the ones they take with them into adulthood.

No matter what the subject area, when your kid is struggling, ask yourself this question:

What’s going on behind the behavior?

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8. Isolate Academic Skills from Others

When teaching a new skill to an unmotivated student, do not combine multiple skills at once. That may push them beyond their capacity to achieve success. You don’t want that.

Isolate writing from other barrier skills. For some that may mean removing the physical act of writing.

Think about it this way. Students (and adults) may have difficulty writing simply because they must integrate multiple skills at once.

9. Check Fine Motor Skills

Perhaps your student is struggling with fine motor skills that make the act of writing extremely difficult. If this is the case, you may want to consider whether or not they have dysgraphia.

Dysgraphia is a brain-based learning disability with some of the following symptoms:

• Difficulty with forming letters on a page
• Spelling challenges
• Challenges staying within the lines on paper

In general, for beginning writers, the physical act of writing is a new skill. This means writing is not a fluent process. Work on fine motor skills and writing in isolation. As an example, try these prewriting practice patterns as a way to “write” without the stress of “writing”.

10. Consider Visual Processing Deficits

For example, a resistant writer could be struggling with eye-tracking or other visual processing challenges. The tiny eye movements involved in reading and writing are essential to the ease with which kids learn.

When those tiny movements aren’t fluent, the brain expends the extra energy that’s needed to learn.

Always focus on the learning objective and get a private Occupational Therapy evaluation if you’re concerned about fine motor or eye-tracking problems.

11. Adjust Expectations

When motivating a reluctant writer, homeschool moms, and teachers must use caution with their expectations.

Don’t look to benchmarks, the kid up the street, or even the curriculum to determine what your child should accomplish.

Focus on your child. What’s their next minimal viable step to move forward? That’s where you start.

Look to Personal Trainers

For example, when an adult decides to get in shape, they often hire a trainer. During their first session, a good trainer doesn’t walk up to an out-of-shape client and tell her to lift the 100-lb barbell.

A good trainer doesn’t look around to see what barbell everyone else is lifting. Their objective is to support and push just far enough so that the client sees the possibility of success.

A personal trainer looks at the client before them and determines their ability. Only then do they choose the appropriate weight for their client.

12. Zone of Proximal Development

When you teach writing, think about the zone of proximal development. Very Well Mind describes the Zone of Proximal Development this way.

The range of abilities that an individual can perform with assistance but cannot yet perform independently.

Ask yourself:

• How far can I push THIS child based on what I know of THIS child?

Help your child move forward no matter how small the step.

13. Start with Oral Communication

Start by having your child discuss the concept you want them to write about.

• Ask questions and engage in a dialogue.
• Take notes for your child so that they are free to process ideas.

Provide A Specific Model

If your child struggles with oral communication or has an Auditory Processing Disorder, model a sentence out loud. For example, imagine your student gives you a blank stare when you ask,

What was the story about?

You can then model an example aloud.

The Three Little Pigs is about 3 pigs who had to survive on their own after their parents died.

14. Use Visuals

The human brain receives the most information through the sense of sight. When teaching a student how to write, use visuals.

In the above example, speak your model sentence aloud. Additionally, provide your reluctant writer with a visual. You can do that easily by writing out the model sentence for the child to see.

Offer Visual Graphic Organizers

When working with a resistant writer, be sure to use visual organizers. These are also called graphic organizers. Graphic organizers help visually organize information. When students resist writing, a visual organizer can help take the writing process one step at a time.

15. Writing Prompts

If you’ve eliminated possible fine motor, eye tracking, or language-based issues, provide your resistant writer explicit instruction. For example,

• Writing prompts
• Sentence starters
• Journal Prompts for Kids
• Brainstorming sessions

By offering just a few concrete questions, your resistant writer doesn’t have to stress about what to write. This reduces anxiety and opens access to higher regions of the brain.

Example Writing Prompts

There’s nothing complex about creating writing prompts. Writing prompts can be simple questions or ideas to get your student started.

Some example writing prompts include:

• Tell me one thing you did this summer that made you smile.
  • Who were you with when you did this?
  • If you could enjoy that activity again, would you want to change it in some way?
  • In what way?
• You’re now the oldest little pig, what do you say to the Big Bad Wolf?
  • Why?
  • How do you say it?

16. Stop Pushing for More

When successfully motivating your struggling writer to take the next step in the writing process, take note. Please accept what your child offers.

During that first successful writing session, don’t push for more. Start small and allow your child the writing win.

Continue with Genuine Questions & Conversation

As previously stated, engage your child in dialogue throughout the process as needed. For example, if your child has written anything, show genuine interest.

Take what they’ve written to ask questions.

This stimulates dialogue, and deeper thinking, and promotes crucial language development that will serve your child in other areas.

17. Use Narration

Many homeschoolers utilize the art of narration. Narration is a strategy that starts with communication through oral language and conversation, the foundation of reading and writing.

Find the starting point. Most often, that will be through oral language communication first.

18. Scribe for Your Child

If your child is struggling with pencil and paper, move on to this step. Listen to your child and write down what they say. Friend, if your kid hates to write, scribe for your child in freedom. No one is cheating!

By doing this, you’re allowing them to enter into the world of writing as communication. You’re equipping your child with the support they need to grow as a communicator.

Don’t worry about the naysayers in your head who are telling you that you’re coddling or enabling your child. That doesn’t help anyone.

Is Penmanship Still Important?

100% yes! These suggestions do not negate the importance of the act of writing. Kids need to work on handwriting skills and other fine motor skills for a variety of reasons.

Using a pencil to paper supports the connection of the left and right hemispheres of the brain.

Additionally, writing increases the retention of new information and is an immediate form of communication.

Isolate Penmanship Until Fluency Develops

As with other academic areas, when a student is struggling, isolate skills. Work on penmanship in isolation until it becomes more fluent. Then combine skills piece by piece.

Bottom line. If the physical act of writing is a brick wall, remove it. Additionally, some children do better with cursive as opposed to print. This cursive alphabet chart printable may be a helpful tool.

19. Model the Writing Process Step by Step

Additionally, offer explicit instruction to your student by modeling the writing process one step at a time. Here are some scaffolding ideas to explicitly model the writing and editing process.

5 Scaffolding Strategies for Reluctant Writers

1. Have your child sit next to you while they share their ideas aloud.
2. If your child needs to move while articulating their thoughts, take notes while they verbally process their “rough draft.”
3. The next day, have them sit next to you while they read their own words aloud.
4. Prompt them to visualize their writing.
   • Then ask for one or two more details that they “see” in their mind.
5. Have them watch as you model proper grammar, sentence structure, and spelling.
6. Brainstorm new vocabulary words to add to their writing.
7. Once this process becomes more fluent, have your child choose one sentence to copy as handwriting practice.

20. Slowly Hand Over the Reins

When this becomes easier, slowly transition responsibilities over to your child at his or her pace.

1. Have your child narrate their story or summary into a dictation device such as an iPhone.
2. Then have your child take on the role of the scribe by writing (or typing) a few sentences.
3. (You pick up where they left off.)
4. Continue with these scaffolding supports and slowly build upon your child’s capacity.

21. Less Is More for Resistant Writers

Ultimately, the goal is to watch your child slowly take ownership of communicating through the written word. And I promise you this will yield far greater results than trying to force your child to do that which they are not ready to do.

When you start to panic that your reluctant writer is not writing enough, take a deep breath. Learning for the long haul is often served well by “Less is More.“

22. Use Engaging Topics

Unfortunately, our educational and parenting climate favors FORCING kids to do what adults say. Because of this, many parents and teachers have lost one of the most powerful learning tools.

Intrinsic motivation. Take advantage of your child’s intrinsic motivation. Offer them engaging topics to write about.

Better yet, ask them what they would like to write about. Use their interests to drive the writing process. This is the gateway to learning to write. Once they’re more comfortable writing, encourage them to write about academic topics.

Struggling Students Need Relationship

Investing in our relationships with our kids, by honoring their unique needs, interests, and wiring can change everything. Internal motivation to communicate grows as grown-ups take the time to listen.

Peer-to-Peer Writing Community

Reach out to other homeschool families to create peer-to-peer writing fun. Check out these ideas for a boys writing club.

As the process of articulating thoughts and ideas becomes a safe experience, our kids are more likely to take their next step.

24. Identify Learning Gatekeepers

To help students grow as learners, we must be willing to check preconceived expectations at the door. Often traditional models of education prevent our children from learning.

When kids consistently struggle with an area of academics, it’s important to look behind the behavior to help them move forward. What gatekeepers are standing in front of your child’s ability to become a writer?

• The physical act of penmanship?
• Combining multiple skills at once?
• Overwhelming anxiety?
• Language processing?
• Working memory?
• Boredom?

Find the real problem and your child will be better equipped to move forward.

When Your Child Hates to Write

When kids struggle in any area academically, emotionally, physically, or behaviorally, our hearts hurt. What’s my number one recommendation when your child is struggling?

Take back the power and learn alongside them. Gather as much information as possible. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box for your reluctant writer.

Resources for Moms of Struggling Learners

To help you in your journey, here are 3 homeschool parent workshops to equip you. I presented these at the NCHE Summit For Teaching Exceptional Children.

1. Huh? How Speech & Language Processing Impact: Reading, Writing & Relationships
2. Homeschooling The Distracted Child: How to Harness the Genius of Your Child’s ADHD Brain
3. Homeschooling The Unregulated Child: Sensory Systems & Self-Regulation in Your Home & Homeschool

Each one is inexpensive because every mom needs to be equipped to help her child. Sign up and when you do, circle back to me with questions.

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This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a nominal fee from qualifying purchases. Thank you for your support. See my disclosure policy for more info.