In the world of ADHD and autism, the importance of nervous system regulation cannot be overstated. But what does it mean to have a regulated nervous system? And why does it matter for neurodivergent kids and adults?
Understanding the nervous system and how it impacts our experiences and behaviors is a powerful way to support yourself and those you love. So today, let’s dive into the nervous system and the term nervous system regulation.
The Nervous System
The nervous system includes our brain, spinal cord, and nerves. Our brain is connected to the spinal cord via the brainstem at the base of the brain. Nerves are connected to the spinal cord and spread throughout our bodies like the roots of trees.
Their job is to send messages between our brain and body processing and responding to sensory input.
Our nervous system is a critical driving factor in our lives. It impacts:
- Emotions
- Thoughts
- Behaviors
- Physical sensations
- Ability to think clearly
- Digestion
- Breathing
- Sleeping
- and more
Sensory Processing for Information
Sensory input is the information your brain receives inside and outside your body. We take in that input through the eight sensory systems.
- Eyes/Visual
- Ears/Auditory
- Nose/Smell
- Mouth/Taste
- Touch/Tactile
- Proprioception
- Where in my body is in space?
- Joint position
- Vestibular/Head position
- Am I upside down or right-side up?
- Interoception
- What is happening inside my body?
The brain is constantly filtering through information perceived through these senses. The autonomic nervous system does so without you thinking about it consciously.
Emotional and Sensory Overwhelm
Problems occur when the brain acquires too much information too fast. Without adequate time and support to process and recover, neurodivergent children and adults (ADHD, autism, and anxiety) experience intense overwhelm.
We often use the term “dysregulated” to describe this nervous system state. In other words, the nervous system becomes stuck in an activated emotional and physical state. Most often this translates into fight-flight-freeze responses and emotional dysregulation.
Autonomic Nervous System
The autonomic nervous system is responsible for many roles including regulating heartbeat, blood pressure, and breathing. These are automatic and do not require any conscious thinking.
Parasympathetic and Sympathetic Nervous Systems
The autonomic nervous system is composed of two branches.
- Parasympathetic Nervous System
- Rest and digest
- Think “calming”
- Sympathetic Nervous System
- Fight-flight-freeze
- Think “activated”
Both the PNS and the SNS are valuable. We need some level of activation to get through the day to get things done. And we also need to stay calm enough to process and function well.
They’re like a seesaw. These two parts of our autonomic nervous system work together to keep us alive and functioning optimally.
The problem occurs when we get stuck in either state. However, typically in ADHD and autistic folks, we see a higher level of sympathetic tone. In other words, the nervous system tends to get stuck in an activated sympathetic state.
Nervous System Dysregulation: Sympathetic Activation
As mentioned, fight-flight-freeze responses are regulated by the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system. These behaviors and emotions occur subconsciously as a protective mechanism. Again, these responses are automatic, controlled by the autonomic nervous system, and happen without conscious thought.
Some responses associated with experiencing a dysregulated nervous system include those often associated with strong-willed children:
- Crying
- Aggressive behaviors
- Kicking
- Hitting
- Kicking
- Screaming
- Saying, “No”
- Fidgeting
- Inability to focus and other signs of ADHD
- Hiding
- Running away
- “Eloping”
- Disassociating
- Doom scrolling, zoning out
- Over compliance
Now What?
So, now that you know this, what do you do? Well, you’ve taken the first step. You’re learning that most difficult behaviors (in yourself or your child) are not willful, but automatic nervous system responses.
That’s the first step because it gives you a reframe with which to offer compassion. The next step is regulating the nervous system for safety using strategies like:
- Emotional Regulation Activities
- Co-regulation and attunement
- Calming Techniques
- Sensory Activities and Strategies
Creating Safety
In my four-step parenting framework, I talk about the importance of prioritizing “relationship first”. But what does that mean exactly?
This means we must create safety when our kids are freaking out. The number one way to do that is to focus on creating a safe Relationship First. Always.
When we feel safe inside, the SNS calms down and the PNS kicks in. That leads to:
- Clearer thinking,
- Better sleep,
- Improved digestion,
- Emotional regulation,
- and more
This is in opposition to traditional parenting, educational, and discipline frameworks. I get it 100%. But, I’m telling you. It works and is essential to supporting neurodivergent families. For more on safety, the nervous system, and relationships first, here are some more resources.
Recap: What is Nervous System Dysregulation?
As mentioned previously, the nervous system is made up of multiple parts. The autonomic system relates to everything that happens automatically in our brains and bodies. Within the autonomic system, we have:
- Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
- Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)
When the nervous system gets stuck in fight or flight, things get tough. The fight-flight-freeze response refers to a highly activated state that isn’t based on a conscious decision. Rather, it’s an automatic response to a perceived threat.
For neurodivergent children and adults, understanding this system can make a world of difference.
Up Next:
How to Deal with Strong-Willed Children Peacefully
Polyvagal Ladder Worksheet: Help for Stressed Families
31 Best Autism Calming Strategies That Can Work for All!
How to Stop Your Child’s Hitting With Positive Discipline
Zones of Regulation Review & Emotional Regulation Printables
About the Author:
Lindsay is a trauma-informed educator with a Master’s Degree in Teaching. Her mission is to support moms to equip neurodivergent kids (ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Anxiety) to thrive as exactly who they’ve been created to be. Wait until you hear the story that led to it all…
