Need a Polyvagal Ladder worksheet? Not sure what this whole Polyvagal thing is?
The Polyvagal Theory is a model that describes how the autonomic nervous system regulates our state of being at any one given moment.
Specifically, it gives us a framework to understand the brain, emotions, and behavior. For moms like you and me, the polyvagal perspective informs us about how to best support ourselves and our children.
If your child struggles with hard behavior, emotional overwhelm, learning challenges, or physical distress, you’re in the right place. Today, we’ll discuss Polyvagal Theory’s implications in everyday life, and how to apply it to ADHD, Autism, and other neurodivergent children.
Additionally, I’ve created a printable polyvagal ladder worksheet to support a general understanding of the concept for kids and families.
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Thriving and Polyvagal Theory
In 1995, clinical psychologist, Dr. Stephen Porges, first developed the Polyvagal Systems Theory.
Foundational to Polyvagal Theory is that human beings are wired for social and emotional safety and connection. As such, it prioritizes the human need for safety and connection as the foundation for mental and physical health.
Without perceived safety, people (in this case, our children) suffer.
It’s important to note that Dr. Porges understands the limitations of scientific theory and emphasizes that theory is rarely proven but is constantly growing. This humility, in and of itself, speaks volumes.
Polyvagal Theory and the Autonomic Nervous System
As of 2023, Dr. Porges describes the polyvagal theory in these terms.
Polyvagal Theory (PVT) conceptualizes autonomic state as a neural platform influencing behavioral, physiological, and psychological responses…
In layman’s terms, this means that our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) is the hub to and from which our behaviors, mental states, and bodily responses flow.
Specifically, Polyvagal Theory highlights the brainstem (and the vagus nerve within) as the epicenter of ANS regulation.
Autonomic Nervous System
Before we move forward, let’s get a better grasp of the parts of the polyvagal theory. Namely, the Autonomic Nervous System and the Vagus Nerve.
Here’s a hierarchy overview to get us on the same page.
- Nervous System
- Peripheral Nervous System (includes nerves all over the body)
- Central Nervous System (Includes brain and spinal cord)
- Autonomic Nervous System
- Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
- Mobilizes the body for action
- “Fight or Flight”
- Parasympathetic Nervous System (PSN)
- Vagus Nerve is the main nerve of the PNS
- Slows and restores
- “Rest and Digest”
- Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
- Autonomic Nervous System
The vagus nerve is the main parasympathetic nerve in the body. It begins in the brainstem and carries information to and from the central nervous system to many areas within the body.
Vagus Nerve’s Role
Some of the automatic processes the Parasympathetic Nervous System regulates through the Vagus Nerve include:
- speaking
- swallowing
- hearing
- taste
- circulation
- heartbeat
- digestion
- breathing
- urination
Impact of Trauma
When the Polyvagal system is under chronic stress and duress, we see devastating mental and physical health implications.
- depression
- anxiety
- chronic pain and autoimmune conditions
- fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue
- headaches
- digestive distress
- learning disabilities
- confusion
- anger
- defensiveness
- isolation
- and more
Such descriptors are those we don’t want defining the lives of our children and families.
As such, we must understand that a well-functioning vagus nerve allows our kids to access the highest level of thinking and thriving.
When functioning optimally, the vagus nerve opens the door to the upper part of the brain, called the cortex (specifically, the prefrontal cortex).
The cortex is responsible for executive functioning, higher-order thinking, creativity, relationships, and social communication that leads to connection.
Trauma and the Body
Many children grow up under intense stress and chronic traumatic experiences. If not given the opportunity to process and release them, the traumatic experience is stuck in the body.
While this may sound “woo-woo,” it’s not.
In his book, The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, describes how traumatic stress impacts people long after the traumatic experience.
He was one of the first to describe the biological response to trauma. More specifically, how traumatic experiences “live” in the body via the autonomic nervous system.
Further, how the connection with safe people is essential to healing.
According to Dr. Van Der Kolk, the Polyvagal perspective offers
“an… understanding of the biology of safety and danger. (It’s) one based on the subtle interplay between the visceral experiences of our own bodies and the voices and faces of the people around us.”
Additionally, the integrated approach that prioritizes the human need for safety in relational connection is harmonious with the faith experiences of so many.
Video: 3 Part BrainTutorial
Trauma, ADHD, Autism, & Kids
As parents, it’s critical to prioritize a safe relationship with our children above all else.
This is even more important when raising Autistic children, kids with ADHD, anxiety, and other forms of neurodiversity.
Neurodivergent children are at increased risk of the high impact of trauma. (We’ll circle back to this shortly.)
When it comes to brass tacks, nothing should come before a neurodivergent child’s mental health. At times, this means academics must take a back seat if we want our kids to thrive into adulthood.
Connecting Polyvagal Theory
Deb Dana is an expert in complex trauma and the founder of Rhythm of Regulation, an organization that supports the use of Polyvagal Theory in clinical practice.
She equips mental health clinicians with the clinical applications of the polyvagal theory. Additionally, she longs to support “curious people” to integrate the principles of the polyvagal theory into everyday life.
In an effort to make PVT accessible to all, she designed a practical visual tool called the Polyvagal Ladder.
Later, we’ll use a Polyvagal Ladder Worksheet, based on Deb Dana’s work, to build up our kids’ emotional regulation toolbelt.
3 States of the Polyvagal Ladder
Using the Polyvagal Ladder imagery, let’s walk through Polyvagal Theory.
There are three states represented on the ladder.
- Ventral vagal state
- Sympathetic state
- Dorsal vagal state
Each one represents a different experience of the nervous system controlled by the Vagus Nerve.
1. Ventral Vagal State
The Ventral Vagal State is at the top of the ladder. It represents a nervous system state of safety and connection to the world around them.
Someone in the Ventral Vagal State is in a state of social engagement. Their heart rate is regulated (not too fast and not too slow). Further, they can tune out irrelevant sensory information and focus on what’s important at the time.
When in the Ventral Vagal Zone a child can better see the “big picture” and experiences a general feeling of well-being.
Again at this point on the autonomic ladder, a child’s autonomic experience is one where they feel safe.
When in this state of being regularly, a child experiences physiological consequences that are generally positive. The body is “regulated”.
- digestion is healthy
- heart rate is “just right”
- blood pressure is healthy
- breathing is deep and refreshing
- the immune responses are functioning well
In children, we’d see age-appropriate use of executive function skills which allow them to plan, organize, and connect with others.
Not Rainbows and Sunshine
Note that while living in the Ventral Vagal State is the goal, it doesn’t mean that life is perfect with rainbows and sunshine.
It simply means that when living from the Ventral Vagal state, your brain and body are functioning optimally to tackle the challenges of life.
Now, let’s move down the ladder. Below the Ventral State on the Polyvagal Ladder, is the Sympathetic State.
2. Sympathetic State
The Sympathetic State represents the fight or flight response that’s triggered when the lower brain perceives signs of extreme danger. This automatic perception is NOT conscious and is termed neuroception within the Polyvagal Model.
In this state, the Sympathetic Nervous System mobilizes into action. As such, the SNS prompts the release of stress hormones (adrenaline) to flood the larger muscles of the body to mobilize to fight or flee to safety.
The body experiences this Physiological Response as somatic experiences such as:
- elevated heart rate
- increase in blood pressure
- shallow increased breathing pattern
- pupil dilation to focus on potential dangers
A child in this state may also appear as anxious, irritable, angry, and possibly aggressive.
Sympathetic State and Socialization
Further, when in the sympathetic state, social connection drops. You’ll see an increase in negative social perception when in this sympathetic state on the polyvagal ladder:
- neutral facial expressions may be perceived as mean
- a calm tone of voice may be interpreted as a stern tone
These perceptions, not a part of the person’s conscious awareness, can lead to difficult social behaviors as well as impaired problem solving.
It’s important to note that these emotional and behavioral responses are not conscious choices. A child cannot just “snap out of it.”
Rather, these are brain-based responses to the physiological signals that tell them they’re not safe. They’re mobilized to fight or flee in an effort to change their experience to one of safety.
This response is their body’s way of protecting them. Again, this is the autonomic nervous system’s job. It’s automatic.
(We’ll discuss strategies to help kids move up the ladder shortly.)
3. Dorsal Vagal State
The third state of being is the Dorsal Vagal State and is on the lowest rung of the polyvagal ladder. This represents one of the nervous system responses associated with the freeze response.
It’s often associated with PTSD or traumatic experiences in which the neural circuits in the brain no longer perceive any cues of safety.
This is often related to complex trauma.
Complex trauma describes a child’s exposure to long-term chronic traumatic experiences and the resulting effects on their daily functioning.
In the lowest level of the dorsal vagal state, the person has no hope. Their nervous system is trapped and has only one choice to escape danger. A complete shutdown.
Trapped and Immobilized
No longer is the nervous system able to mobilize to protect itself. Rather, the person freezes, fawns, or dissociates.
These are self-protective mechanisms that may look like this.
- apathy,
- depression,
- exhaustion,
- isolation,
- or complete shutdown.
Again, this is an autonomic nervous system response which means the child cannot “will” their way out of this state.
Parents of neurodivergent children, (ADHD, Autism, etc), must remember that these children are at great risk for trauma.
As mentioned earlier, the behaviors that are often seen in these hurting children are well explained through this model.
Children must feel safe on a neurological level.
Moving Up and Down the Polyvagal Ladder
As human beings, we experience ever-changing states of arousal, moving up and down the ladder throughout the day.
Our emotional experience in any one given moment of the day may create an autonomic nervous system response in which we feel the physiological sensations of fear.
The good news is moving up and down the polyvagal ladder is to be expected. As adults with life experience, we have the benefit of knowing that hard moments will pass.
However, children, if they’ve lived life under chronic stress, do not have that vantage point.
Additionally, if we’ve been fortunate enough to have lots of healthy experiences with trusted adults, we have an internal narrative of co-regulation.
This co-regulation model has helped us learn to self-regulate. As such, we can use emotion regulation strategies to bring ourselves back to a regulated state at the top of the ladder.
Dangers of Behaviorism Parenting and Education
This is what our children need. As parents, when we see our children struggling…
- emotionally,
- physically,
- academically, or
- behaviorally,
it’s important to think beyond the behaviorism mindset that believes the worst in children.
For example, a behaviorist parenting and educational lens see behavior as willful. It uses shaming terminology such as:
- lazy
- disobedient
- stubborn
- defiant
Rather than creating healthy change, this negative lens becomes part of the core narratives of the children at the receiving end.
Because they biologically cannot override their autonomic nervous system’s dysregulated state, these kids internalize the shame of continuous negative feedback.
Co-Regulation and Relationship First
A brain-based trauma-informed framework like the Polyvagal Theory can support children with what they need for a healthy thriving life.
As touched on earlier, this means that instead of expecting children to self-regulate, they must first learn to co-regulate within a safe relationship.
Learning to self-regulate (move up) the Polyvagal Ladder must be an interactive experience. There’s no self-regulation without first co-regulation.
This means when our kids are freaking out, screaming, crying, and yelling, they need help. They need safety first.
Relationship first. Allow this to guide your approach.
Strategies to Help Children
We can support our kids by providing them with effective strategies that can help them grow in their interoception and emotional awareness. Skills that will help them:
- Identify physical sensations and experiences
- Often referred to as interoception
- Use emotional vocabulary to express and make sense of internal experiences
- Identify the triggers or issues that led to the overwhelming experience
- Create a mental picture that helps them make sense of their experience
- Generate a cohesive cognitive experience of their story
Remember, human beings, from the moment of birth, are designed to seek safety in relationships with safe people.
We teach our children by co-regulating (and learning) with them.
Polyvagal Ladder Worksheet PDF
This means that we lead with “Relationship First.”
Based on the work of Deb Dana and Stephen Porges, I’ve created a FREE practical tool, a polyvagal ladder worksheet set.
In this free Polyvagal Ladder Worksheet download, you’ll find four worksheets to use with your child.
- Polyvagal Ladder Worksheet
- Where Am I Now PV Ladder?
- Polyvagal Brainstorming Sheet
- My Safety Sheet
Additionally, I’ve included ideas on how to use these worksheets to best support your child.
Recap: Polyvagal Ladder Worksheet
Your child’s fundamental sense of safety is essential to them thriving into adulthood.
Trauma-informed experts’ research into the vagus nerve serves us to live from an optimally healthy and compassionate place.
Specifically, the Polyvagal Theory is one such trauma-informed model that can greatly serve neurodivergent children and families.
As moms, it helps us prioritize our kids’ mental and emotional well-being through the lens of safety and connection.
So, Friend. I know that was a lot to take in and process. What are your thoughts? In this with you!
About the Author:
Lindsay is a trauma-informed educator with a Master’s Degree in Teaching. Her mission is to support moms to equip neurodivergent kids (ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Anxiety) to thrive as exactly who they’ve been created to be. Wait until you hear the story that led to it all…
