Meltdowns and Self-Regulation Strategies

January 9, 2021, 2:35 pm

Looking for help with meltdowns and self-regulation strategies?  When kids (and adults) have daily meltdowns, life is brutal.  It’s exhausting to constantly walk on eggshells for fear of the next explosion:


ADHD, Autism, Anxiety- Meltdowns & Self-Regulation

Kids with ADHD, Autism, anxiety, sensory processing or other executive functioning issues often struggle to control their outward behaviors.  And it’s because of this that they desperately need tools to help them self-regulate more appropriately in the future.  Here’s the thing.  They also need self-regulated parents. 

Ouch!  I know.

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Kid & Adult Meltdown Cycle

One thing I’ve learned in my own journey with our son’s meltdowns, tantrums and challenging behaviors, is my own need for self-regulation strategies in order to prevent my own adult meltdowns.  Children are not the only ones who have meltdowns, tantrums and other challenging behavioral responses.  We adults do too.

Adult “bad” behavior may look differently than our kids’, but we are all capable of losing it.  And because of this, we can all use self-regulation strategies and support in order to prevent some pretty intense meltdowns.

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to control emotions and behaviors in order to fit a situation.  It’s completely normal for children to gradually strengthen their ability to self-regulate as their brains develop and mature over time.  As adults, we should always expect a child to have a lower threshold for frustration and self-regulation than we do.  

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Meltdowns, Triggers, Self-Regulation

Here’s the deal.  In order for us moms to be able to help our kids work through their own meltdowns, we’ve got to respond rather than react.  (Easier said the done, I know.)  If your child struggles with ADHD, Autism or sensory processing issues, they may be triggered by what seems like the tiniest things.  It can feel nearly impossible to maintain our own momma calm all the time.  And guess what?  That’s ok.

We Must Extend Grace When Kids Meltdown

Understanding our own need to maintain calm (because we can’t always do so perfectly) helps us relate to, have compassion with, and offer grace to our kids.  When we can extend grace to our kids, rather than become offended when they lose it, we are better able to equip them with what they need to move forward.  

RELATED EPISODE: Obey Right Away?! Is This What We Want For Our Kids?


The Unregulated Child: Support For Moms

Be sure to listen to the full episode and be encouraged and equipped.  And if you need some more in-depth support and training, check out The Unregulated Child: Self-Regulation & Sensory Systems In Your Home & Homeschool. 

I recently gave this workshop at the 2020 NCHE Summit For Teaching Exceptional Students and it’s now available for you.  In it you will learn all about God’s design of the brain, the sensory systems, outward behavior and how to best equip your child to thrive as exactly who God has designed them to be. 

You’ll definitely want to check it out.  It’ll be sure to equip you to end the chaos and begin moving the needle forward for you and your child.

RELATED POST: Self-Regulation & The Zones Of Regulation 
RELATED EPISODE: Help!  My Kid Is Always Angry!

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