How to Discipline A Strong-Willed Child
A momma reached out to me about how to discipline a strong-willed child.
“My kid is so disobedient! He’s so strong-willed and will not obey. Help! What do I do?”
What momma out there can’t relate to this one? Really. We’ve all had hard moments with our kids. In today’s episode, I will speak to an amazing momma, who knows what it’s like to parent a more strong-willed or determined child.
I love Jessica because she is so authentic and real as a momma. Her openness about her struggles with her child allow other moms to come out of the shadows to really hash through some of the hard and messy of motherhood. Thank you, Girlfriend!!
My Own Parenting Mistakes
To speak to Jessica’s issue regarding her son, I end up discussing my experiences with my oldest daughter when she was a little. My girl was a tough cookie back in the day. To be honest, I used more traditional, authoritative Christian parenting strategies with her.
And it worked. Kind of.
I was able to get my kid to zip it, and behave outwardly in a way that had me “look and feel good” about myself. But was it the best approach? Did it serve my child in the long run to learn that her outward behavior was the most important thing to me?
I’m not so sure. Being totally real here, Friend.
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Disciplining Strong-Willed Kids Requires Us To Look At Ourselves
If we want to get our kids to obey, we often need to start by looking at ourselves. Yikes. That is not an easy one to process, right? But it’s so true.
Ultimately, it’s safe relationship that changes everything. Listen up and be encouraged as I offer my suggestions and tips so that we moms can best equip our strong-willed kids to thrive.
Parenting The Strong-Willed Child: Dump The Unhealthy Parenting Beliefs
Today we discuss all things parenting, discipline and most importantly, we discuss the reality that we mommas have a lot of garbage rolling through our heads. Often we carry a lof of unhealthy burden that stems from beliefs and ideas of motherhood that are often left unchecked in the church and in our culture.
Let’s talk about it today and chew on some different tactics that allow parents to better influence their kids’ heart, beliefs and, ultimately, their behavior. I discuss this in my book, Behind the Behaviors, as well as in the FREE 5 Day Video Teaching Devotional Series for the exhausted momma.
Recommended Reading For Moms Raising Kids With ADHD, SPD, ASD (or No Acronym At All)
Podcast Audio Text
Hey, friend, in today’s episode, I’m answering Jessica’s question. Now, Jessica has been a part of A Heart For All Students Momma Tribe since the beginning. This girl is awesome. She is such a great momma and she’s so transparent. And what I love about that is that by being transparent and asking the hard questions, she allows other mommas to learn alongside with her and with me. And so, Jessica, thank you so much for this earlier question that you asked her.
Key Ideas And Concepts About How To Discipline A Strong Willed Child
What do I do about my kid who is so disrespectful he never listens, never obeys?
When a child is strong willed and being disrespectful, what’s the next approach besides yelling?
Let me talk to you about my daughter as an example.
One thing to realize is that behavior is information.
If you feel like your child is being disrespectful, don’t worry about what the world tells you as far as they need to respect you now. Let’s look a little deeper and let’s equip your child to know how to handle whatever is going on in his head.
And so my first thing is to come at your child with the approach that they are a human being, just like you, except they’re way less mature and they have way less life experience.
Mom’s got to come at them with the priority of relationship first, relationship first.
We are never going to be able to influence our children unless we have a relationship with them. And you will see that as you get older and older.
Get down to their level. And you want to relate.
The more and more you give them an opportunity to tell you what’s going on in his head, the more and more the deeper and deeper your relationship is going to be. And the more and more he’s going to want to honor you.
It’s not going to be easy, especially in the beginning.
The only way to be able to influence them long term is by getting to a place where you can influence them. That’s going to go with relationship.
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Select What You Want To Hear
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- [01:56] When A Child Is Strong Willed
- [03:45] Behavior Is Information
- [06:38] Understand What Is The Goal
- [07:46] Get Down To Your Child’s Level
- [08:46] Focus On Your Relationship
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